1
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,919
Mona.

2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,266
I know it's a tedious process,

3
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,615
but you actually have
to lift the chopsticks

4
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,615
to get the food into your mouth.

5
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,357
And garlic noodles
are your favorite.

6
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:15,669
[Slurp]

7
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,934
I've lost the will to slurp.

8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,340
We just want to take your
mind off your breakup with chase.

9
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,980
But you brought
me to a restaurant

10
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,937
that chase and I have
been a million times.

11
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,066
We sat here.

12
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,677
We kissed over there.

13
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,727
Over there.

14
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,205
All that loving,

15
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,945
and you still managed
to drive him away.

16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,946
Shocking.

17
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:46,440
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪

18
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:51,574
♪ you finding you,
I'm finding me ♪

19
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,320
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪

20
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,362
♪ who brings out the joy ♪

21
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,317
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪

22
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,836
♪ inside of me ♪

23
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,760
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪

24
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,456
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪

25
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,893
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪

26
00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:11,421
♪ you and me ♪

27
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,506
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

28
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,725
Ooh.

29
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:15,953
[Laughing]

30
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,912
Dwight, now that your
team has made the playoffs,

31
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,606
you are the hottest
thing in the NBA.

32
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,995
Well, that's an understatement.

33
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,048
You're hot as the sun.
You're Dwight Mitchell.

34
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,613
In fact, you're
hotter than the sun.

35
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,140
Actually, you are so hot,

36
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:35,103
the planets are starting
to revolve around you.

37
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,917
Whoo! Up high.

38
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,320
Nothing? Okay.

39
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,804
We intend to
capitalize on that heat

40
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,406
to get you even more publicity

41
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,366
and more lucrative
endorsement deals.

42
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:49,235
Lucrative is my favorite word.

43
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,936
Mine too.

44
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,553
Are you my brother
from another mother?

45
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:55,289
Why is he here again?

46
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,291
I've invited Brett on
as my number-two

47
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,340
so gmg can give you more focus.

48
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:04,115
Well, I wouldn't exactly have
used the term "number-two."

49
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,471
[Chuckles]

50
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,350
I prefer to think
of us as co-ones.

51
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,000
Yeah, that's what all
the number-twos say.

52
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,183
Jockeying for position aside,

53
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,085
we see you on the cover of gq

54
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,180
wearing air Mitchells
and eating wheaties

55
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,229
from a box with
your picture on it.

56
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,875
Do you like what you see?

57
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,688
Because it could be
esquirewith cocoa puffs.

58
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,626
Why can't it be both?

59
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:28,932
I like the way you think.

60
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,368
I think the way you think.

61
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:33,812
The point is, um,

62
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,632
your co-ones got your back.

63
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,463
Good, 'cause
there is a situation

64
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,809
I could use your help with.

65
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,988
The paparazzi has been
all up in my business

66
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:43,514
ever since they found out

67
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,248
I was on the short
list for league mvp.

68
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,429
I know.

69
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,344
Your wife and I
had lunch last week.

70
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,169
To help Alana get away
from photographers,

71
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,557
I had to fake-choke
on a buffalo wing.

72
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,219
Those bastards didn't
even try to save me.

73
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,477
The fake choke.

74
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:00,830
[Chuckles]

75
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,179
I taught her how to do that.

76
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,179
Co-ones right here.

77
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,933
Well, um, what's...

78
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:12,153
What's going on is
kind of complicated.

79
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,665
Discretion is key.

80
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,758
Dwight, it is our
job to do anything...

81
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,197
And I mean anything...

82
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,634
To help you focus

83
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,830
on getting that championship.

84
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:20,981
Hell, man, if I could,

85
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,250
I'd offer up a kidney.

86
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,072
That goes for me too.

87
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,120
I'd offer up Brett's
kidney as well.

88
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,729
Co-ones.

89
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,127
[Elevator dings]

90
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,258
Both: Hey, Mona.

91
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,437
How are you feeling today?

92
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,545
You know, we're here to help
you turn that frown upside down.

93
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:46,491
Let me tell you, you are
looking radiant from head to toe.

94
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,054
Want to know my beauty secret?

95
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,100
Heartbreak and
gut-wrenching despair.

96
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,882
Radiant!

97
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,101
You went too far.

98
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,760
When have you ever
seen Mona radiant?

99
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,667
Good point.

100
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,149
Now, in my experience

101
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,559
of watching hetero
hookups on mtv,

102
00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:01,941
this will go one of two ways.

103
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,034
She'll either eat
herself into a funk

104
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,983
or spit venom on
those close to her.

105
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,601
Let's do a little experiment.

106
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,812
Hey, Dave, go offer
Mona a doughnut.

107
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,471
Why would i... just do it!

108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,694
Mona, may I offer
you a doughnut?

109
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,388
I don't think so.

110
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,696
Damn...

111
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,742
I've never seen her
pass up a cream-filled.

112
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,831
We're in trouble.
Venom's a-coming.

113
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,617
Listen, Dave.

114
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,124
If you cared as much about
overnighting this package

115
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,640
as you do about stuffing
your face with doughnuts,

116
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:34,013
maybe you'd get a promotion

117
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,009
and not have to ride
a skateboard to work.

118
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,671
I'll make sure it gets
there by morning.

119
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:38,885
Damn skippy you will.

120
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,194
And what are you looking at?

121
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,920
Compared to you,
Dave looks like a genius.

122
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:45,327
A genius is a very smart person.

123
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,852
Mona taking charge!

124
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,640
You keep this up, I won't
have to come in at all.

125
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,636
More time for the
shooting range.

126
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:54,898
That's right.

127
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,770
Black folks can be
a part of the nra too.

128
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,205
[Knocking]

129
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,780
Phyllis.

130
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:04,346
How courageous of you
to come out in the daytime

131
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,444
wearing that, well, everything.

132
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:09,403
Next time, lose the
wig and wear the dog.

133
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,923
You'll look better.

134
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,266
A tee-hee.

135
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,845
By the way, what do
you and your daughter

136
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,138
have planned for mother's day?

137
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,227
Well, she hasn't said

138
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,506
but I'm sure it'll be special.

139
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,364
Yes, I am certain
that little Dee

140
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,649
has something amazing in store

141
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:21,781
for the world's best mother.

142
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,189
She's getting something for me?

143
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,503
I don't think they perfected
the face transplant yet.

144
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,246
Come on, Dee.

145
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,943
Where have you hidden
mother's expensive

146
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,470
yet sweet and sentimental
mother's day present?

147
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:42,297
Mom, what are you doing here?

148
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,865
Uh, I don't know.

149
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,700
Where am I?

150
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:52,183
Have you been drinking again?

151
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,054
That would imply that I stopped.

152
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,046
Mom, maybe you should
go into my bedroom

153
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,581
and lie down for a while.

154
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,494
That's a great idea.
I haven't looked in...

155
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:03,889
Uh, laid in there lately.

156
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,280
Unfortunately, neither
has anybody else.

157
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,848
[Woof woof]

158
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:15,164
Where is my gift?

159
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,420
Ma.

160
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:18,547
Aah!

161
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:19,919
What the hell are
you doing here?

162
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,468
I live here, remember?

163
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,855
What the hell are youdoing here?

164
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,297
I was just...

165
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,174
Alphabetizing your spices.

166
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,173
Let me guess. What's first?

167
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,648
Allspice?

168
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,578
Sadly it starts with
pepper and ends with salt.

169
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,832
You're cooking for chase now.

170
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:38,006
You can't keep feeding that
big, fine man unseasoned food.

171
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,273
Ma, I don't need you
to clean my cabinets.

172
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,656
I don't need you to do anything.

173
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,579
See? I had some
fresh vanilla bean,

174
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,974
but now you ain't
getting none. Ooh.

175
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,277
[Knocking]

176
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,893
Dee Dee, would you
tell her that real men

177
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,284
like some flavor in their food?

178
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,887
Could you wrap
up this little tirade?

179
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:53,977
Chase is coming over.

180
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,975
Well, that's all you had to say.

181
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,287
I'm gone.

182
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,793
But if he's hungry,
make him some eggs.

183
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,679
They don't need no damn spices.

184
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:01,768
Mona...

185
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:04,416
Chaseis coming over?

186
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,601
No.

187
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,077
But I didn't tell my
mother about the breakup

188
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,597
because I don't need her remarks

189
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,151
about how I've killed
another relationship

190
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,300
or any chance of her being

191
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,299
called grams, Nana,
mima, or booby.

192
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,696
Relationships are hard

193
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:19,996
whether you're in them

194
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,491
or in the middle of
somebody else's.

195
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,141
I just got a call from a
woman named Tatiana.

196
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,626
She asked me to
have Dwight Mitchell

197
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,582
meet her for a secret
late-night hookup

198
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:28,584
at a hotel bar.

199
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,835
What's that all about?

200
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,017
Hello? Have you been
living under a rock?

201
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,763
The man is having an affair.

202
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,894
But I just had
lunch with his wife.

203
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,667
Dwight and Alana
are very much in love.

204
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,291
Do you get lonely
living under that rock?

205
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,162
Or do your naive,
clueless, happy thoughts

206
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,465
of stupid romance
keep you company?

207
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,952
You seem like you want
to be alone right now.

208
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:51,172
Great, leave me
just like chase did.

209
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,263
Okay, bye.

210
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,907
[Elevator dings]

211
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,610
Hey, Mona. These are for you.

212
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,088
Just 'cause.

213
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,438
They'll just die in a week,

214
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,247
and then I'll have a
stinky bowl on my desk.

215
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:07,747
[Scoffs]

216
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,045
Mona, don't deny
yourself flowers

217
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,141
just because they die.

218
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,316
Get back out there

219
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,884
and pick some more flowers.

220
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,097
Do you understand
what I'm telling you?

221
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,799
Yeah.

222
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,869
You're using flowers as a
metaphor for relationships.

223
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,111
No. Try to follow.

224
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,898
I'm saying get back out there

225
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,682
and date somebody new!

226
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,162
And now you try to follow me.

227
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,949
You're a moron!

228
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,258
You kind of are sometimes.

229
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:41,996
[Knocking]

230
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,906
Okay, here's a good
problem to have.

231
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,811
Both gqand esquirewant
Dwight Mitchell for the cover.

232
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:46,739
Do you know what that means?

233
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,750
It means he'll be so hot

234
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,312
my cell phone's gonna be ringing

235
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,139
24/7 with hos like Tatiana

236
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,507
that Dwight slipped
my number to.

237
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,454
That's not what I was gonna say.

238
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,097
But keep your phone charged up.

239
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,448
I will not!

240
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,501
The only thing worse
than a married man

241
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,146
meeting a woman in a hotel room

242
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,020
is putting me in
the middle of it.

243
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,981
I mean, not me
literally in the middle.

244
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,510
That's not my thing.

245
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:11,903
Man up, Thorne.

246
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,896
Athletes have
affairs, all right?

247
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,008
Obviously, Dwight is smart
enough to use his resources...

248
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,993
Us... to keep his business...

249
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:21,822
Hos... away from his public...

250
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,652
His wife.

251
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:27,088
Well, as a woman, I'm
not gonna stand for it.

252
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,915
Dwight's behavior
is unacceptable,

253
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,663
and Alana is my girl.

254
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,444
Oh, how sweet.

255
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:35,268
You know, it's too bad
that sisterhood crap

256
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,747
has no place in
the sports world.

257
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,707
Our main concern is our
client. Remember that.

258
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,665
Blah, blah, sports world, yeah.

259
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,414
So you're gonna keep quiet

260
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:44,795
and you're gonna like it.

261
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,148
Fine.

262
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:49,497
I'll keep quiet,
but I won't like it.

263
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,679
Can you do that
quietly to yourself?

264
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,468
Places, people.
Medusa's on her way up.

265
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,873
I don't know if confronting
Mona's a good idea.

266
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,002
She scares me.

267
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,873
Dave, the microwave scares you.

268
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,909
Standing in front of it
should scare you too.

269
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,941
When the time comes and
you can't fertilize an egg,

270
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,880
don't come to me
for extra sperm.

271
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,526
You can bet on that. [Ding]

272
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,360
Mona!

273
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,926
Best friend, come have a seat.

274
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,284
Not giving any money

275
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,513
so don't give me the big eyes.

276
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,058
Here, I made you
a cup of coffee.

277
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,319
Don't give her anything hot!

278
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,931
She might throw it.

279
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,131
Adam: Let's cut to
the real, girlfriend.

280
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,964
You've been hurting yourself
and those who love you

281
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,942
and those who merely
tolerate you like myself.

282
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,203
Maybe you forgot,

283
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,681
but I'm a vice president.

284
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,561
If you have a problem
with my performance,

285
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,953
you can speak to me privately.

286
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,265
I am tired of being
the only one here

287
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,337
who's a professional.

288
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,259
Mona, can I speak...

289
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,783
I'm not finished, woman!

290
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,256
Oh, yes, you are.
Your office now.

291
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,874
All: Ooh...

292
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,610
I know you're upset

293
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,361
because I snapped at everybody.

294
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,362
Screw them. You snapped at me.

295
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,232
Now, let's be clear.

296
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,355
I'm the head snapper in charge.

297
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,148
Sorry. don't be too sorry.

298
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:11,373
I like the way you're
keeping 'em on their toes.

299
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:12,933
If I don't have
to scream at 'em,

300
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,660
then I don't have to
remember their names.

301
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,680
As far as I'm concerned,

302
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,804
it's the big guy, the little
guy, and the other guy.

303
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,250
It's actually Adam, Spencer...

304
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,683
I don't care!

305
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,467
Listen, Mona,

306
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:27,951
you got to ask yourself,

307
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,295
why would those three stooges

308
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,934
go through all that
trouble to call you out

309
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,471
if you didn't deserve it?

310
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:35,261
Now, maybe you need to deal
with whatever is bugging you.

311
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,386
No, I need to focus on work.

312
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,919
I don't want to
deal with anything.

313
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,704
Dealing hurts. It's too painful.

314
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,438
And once I start
talking about it,

315
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,008
everything just
starts coming out.

316
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,935
I mean, I really miss chase,
and he hasn't even called,

317
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,227
and I wanna call him...

318
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,706
Okay, I'll let you
deal with this alone.

319
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,498
Ooh. Doing a little
online shopping?

320
00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,456
Perhaps for shiny jewels?

321
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:02,504
No. Keep up, mother.
I have a job now.

322
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,981
Oh. Work stress.

323
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,231
You know what clears that up?

324
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,729
Shopping for shiny jewels.

325
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,081
[Knock on door]

326
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,563
Coming!

327
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:13,954
Ooh! A really big box.

328
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,537
Looks like someone ordered
something really special

329
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,650
for someone's special day.

330
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,387
You Dee Dee Thorne?

331
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,957
Yes, but I haven't
ordered anything.

332
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,825
They only pay me
to take it off the truck,

333
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,527
not put it back on, dude.

334
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,274
Later.

335
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,063
Oh, my god! It's from Tatiana.

336
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,452
Yay! It's from Tatiana.

337
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,445
Who's Tatiana?

338
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:36,707
A whore.

339
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,409
A whore who sells shiny jewels?

340
00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,196
"Dee Dee, for
Dwight's eyes only.

341
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,503
"Counting on you to
keep this from Alana.

342
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:45,769
Thanks. Tatiana."

343
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,552
I can't believe this.

344
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,856
Now I'm being used to
secretly exchange packages?

345
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:53,084
Dwight Mitchell's
turning me into a mule.

346
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,903
Hmm. Heavier than a fur,

347
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:58,781
yet lighter than a
crown and scepter set.

348
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,475
Mom, have you
heard a word I've said?

349
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,263
Of course I have.
Your job is great,

350
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:05,867
and somebody named Mitchell
just bought you a new pair of mules.

351
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,183
Hi. So what's the
emergency, Thorne?

352
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,271
This is my first Sunday in
my brand-new media room.

353
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,487
I got 24 games going
on 6 different tvs.

354
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:21,580
All I need now is a hot girl
to bring me an ice cold beer.

355
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,018
Dwight's coming by.

356
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:31,291
And I'm here without
my cold beer because...

357
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,505
What the hell is this?

358
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,384
This is why we're here.

359
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,045
Because Dwight has
crossed ethical lines,

360
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,206
and I'm gonna tell him and

361
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,914
you're gonna back
me up, cold one.

362
00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,473
I thought I told you
to be quiet and like it.

363
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:45,481
Why aren't you being
quiet and liking it?

364
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,696
Well, that was before
Dwight's lady friend

365
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:51,404
sent her tawdry little
present to my house.

366
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,272
I am a sports agent.

367
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,144
I fought hard to be one,

368
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,545
and I'm not gonna jeopardize
my integrity and my reputation

369
00:13:57,575 --> 00:14:01,005
so some ballplayer can
score in someone else's court.

370
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,971
Hey, when you
come to this office,

371
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,799
you leave your
integrity at home.

372
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,464
[Knock on door]

373
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,242
Hey, Dee Dee.

374
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,936
Does this guy ever go home?

375
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,202
Home. That's a great idea.

376
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:14,677
Let's all go. Come
on. It's Sunday.

377
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:17,376
Not until Dwight explains this.

378
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,115
Hey, hey! Tatiana came through.

379
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,297
My wife doesn't have
a clue about any of this.

380
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,993
Keeping it from her is
what we get paid to do.

381
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,171
Isn't that right, Thorne?

382
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,516
That's sick.

383
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,133
She means that
in the hip-hop way.

384
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,919
Dwight, do you think it's right

385
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,884
that your agent haul
messages and gifts

386
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,663
between you and your mistress?

387
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:41,357
Mistress? I ain't cheatin'.

388
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:46,450
Tatiana designed this
as a surprise for my wife.

389
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,407
I didn't want the press to know

390
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:51,186
that Alana and I
are having a baby.

391
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,886
Alana's pregnant?

392
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,423
I told you Dwight
wasn't cheating.

393
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,245
Some people can
be so suspicious.

394
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,474
[Laughs]

395
00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:08,517
And some people can
count on payback later.

396
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,354
Can't wait to
show this to Alana.

397
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,562
It's her very first
mother's day present.

398
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,792
I hope I don't cry.

399
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,828
Mother's day is today?!

400
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,230
My mother is gonna kill me!

401
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:26,748
What kind of a child forgets...

402
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,448
Oh, crap! It's mother's day?

403
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:31,804
[Door opens]

404
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,497
All right. I'm dressed
up, perfumed,

405
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:34,664
and ready to act surprised.

406
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:35,846
So where are you taking...

407
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,495
Baby.

408
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:40,809
What's the matter?

409
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,066
Talk to me. What's wrong?

410
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,418
Chase and I broke up.

411
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,340
What?! When did that happen?

412
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,556
Last week.

413
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:54,205
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry.

414
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,351
I just didn't know
how to deal with it,

415
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,223
so I've been lashing
out at everybody.

416
00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:01,785
Well, that's ok, baby. I
know how hard this is.

417
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,313
If you need to lash out at
me, start with my perfume.

418
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,488
I think I doused where
I should have dabbed.

419
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,445
Well, I wasn't
gonna say anything,

420
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,973
but it is making my eyes sting.

421
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,889
Ma, things were
so great with chase.

422
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,934
The next thing I know,
it was all falling apart.

423
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,539
Look...

424
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:22,809
I know it's painful, but
you'll get through this.

425
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,644
We'll get through it together.

426
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,202
Two single women.

427
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,809
You're not single.
You have Glen.

428
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,210
Not anymore.

429
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,816
Glen's decided to
leave San Francisco

430
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,075
and help rebuild New Orleans.

431
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,039
Wow. That's big.

432
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,387
Yeah.

433
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,976
And there's no way I'm
moving to New Orleans.

434
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,910
You know what that
humidity does to our hair.

435
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,010
Even the fake stuff frizzes up.

436
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:51,581
So, I had no choice but
to respect his decision.

437
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,582
But why haven't you
said anything 'til now?

438
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:57,064
I guess I was trying to
deal with my breakup, too.

439
00:16:57,146 --> 00:17:00,056
Ma, I'm so sorry you
and Glen didn't work out.

440
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:03,629
Hey, we worked out
for 6 blissful months.

441
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:04,888
And who knows?

442
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,760
He may decide to come back

443
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,531
for some more of this
bubblin' brown sugar.

444
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,169
Ma, if you were trying
to take my mind off chase

445
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,287
by grossing me out, job done.

446
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,650
But thanks for being here.

447
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:20,262
I'm sorry you have
to see me like this.

448
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,393
Are you kidding?

449
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,126
Knowing you still need me

450
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:26,737
is the best mother's day
present I could ever get.

451
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,574
Mother's day?

452
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,657
Wow.

453
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,829
Every other restaurant in
town was completely packed.

454
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,801
I can't believe
this place is empty.

455
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:41,673
Thank you for pointing
it out. We're thrilled, too.

456
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,058
You do have a full
bar, though, right?

457
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,981
Full bar and
mother's day karaoke.

458
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,366
You can see how popular it is.

459
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,421
Here's your damn
corsage. Seat yourselves.

460
00:17:57,206 --> 00:18:00,856
Mom, I really am sorry I
forgot about mother's day.

461
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,869
Oh, pishaw! This is the
best mother's day ever.

462
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,482
It is?

463
00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:06,612
Absolutely.

464
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:07,764
It's the first one in years

465
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:08,892
I haven't had to endure Phyllis

466
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,313
picking brunch
out of her goatee.

467
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,530
Better than watching
you passed out

468
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,444
faced down in your eggs Benedict

469
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,009
after a jug of bloody Marys.

470
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,005
Not again!

471
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,878
What an awful time to be sober.

472
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,102
I'm glad they have karaoke here.

473
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,019
That'll take my
mind off being stuck

474
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,894
with tall, bald, and
surgically altered.

475
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,325
Oh, no! I am not
going to listen to you

476
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,942
screech like a
cat in heat again.

477
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,332
If anybody's
going to sing today,

478
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,415
it's going to be the
person who can: Me.

479
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:40,642
♪ He met marmalade
down in old New Orleans ♪

480
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,988
♪ struttin' her
stuff on the street ♪

481
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:46,209
♪ she said, hello, hey, Joe ♪

482
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,519
♪ you wanna give it a go? ♪

483
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:52,775
♪ Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da ♪

484
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:56,960
Gitchi gitchi ya ya here ♪

485
00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:01,008
♪ mocca chocolata ya ya ♪

486
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:07,056
♪ creole lady marmalade ♪

487
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,626
♪ voulez-vous coucher
avec moi ce soir? ♪

488
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:15,334
♪ Voulez-vous
coucher avec moi? ♪

489
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,195
♪ Hey, sister, go, sister ♪

490
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:19,196
♪ soul sister, go, sister ♪

491
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,938
Sorry, Tina.

492
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,599
We didn't know we'd
be here for 20 songs.

493
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,782
It's been 25, but it's ok.

494
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,472
Thanks to your
mom and her bar tab,

495
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,079
it's our biggest day ever.

496
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:39,656
♪ Mocca chocolata ya ya ♪

497
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:45,403
♪ creole lady marmalade ♪

498
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,930
Dave, I brought you doughnuts

499
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,063
to apologize for
how I treated you.

500
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,666
This is a trick, isn't it?

501
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:56,670
Dave, take the damn
doughnuts and go.

502
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:02,240
Tear 'em down one
day, build 'em up the next.

503
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:04,551
I love the monster I've created.

504
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,285
Hey, guys.

505
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:11,081
I just wanted to thank you
for what you tried to do for me.

506
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,946
Aww. We're just glad
the real Mona's back.

507
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,868
It's nice not to be
greeted in the morning

508
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,223
with a hard slap
across the face.

509
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,184
I can get that at home.

510
00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:24,784
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